A Poem by Jorie Graham

everyone woke up.
It was a gorgeous sunny day.
The lists with our names on them were laid out in the light.
Someone straightened the pile.
Are they complete I heard a voice ask
though it was awfully far away from the beautiful
day. Which was a masterpiece. Something’s apogee. A hegemon, a crystallisation –
a gigantic re-beginning. We will all be trans-
formed I heard myself
think. Who am I kidding. The millions of years of prehistory
hummed, they looked artificial in this newfangled
light, all its techniques of solicitation, attraction, solidification
throwing themselves wildly at the stunned
archaic. It stared back. It’s rocky and does not
expand. It’s earthy. It will take your gaze into its
mastery. I
love it. I want to wake up
further. Please. I hadn’t said the word in centuries. Be still. Your social credits
are being calculated
as it watches.
I want to touch it. I’ve never seen such solidity. That must be
what a heart feels like, but the lights laugh all over it and it almost dis-
appears. Do not deplete me. Do not empty me. I want to be
more than a proceeding. Do not calculate me. Innumerable shadings
shiver. I touch my larynx. We were not
to speak. Avoid facial expressions while being
assessed. Do not accidentally
express
yourself. Remember. Stay private. Can you do this?
Analysis of the smile is particularly important. Do not. They try to ensure the
smile threshold is triggered. Do not.
During this same moment knowledge will be
produced. It will mass up in you, quickening, organising. Do not.
It will feel warm.
It has tracers to detect consternation. Do not.
It maximises addictiveness. To happiness. I feel it. Do not.
It is scanning your iris. I beg you do not think. Let the years float. Abandon
memory. I am your friend. I want you to survive. The penetration. The
examination. Estrange. Don’t look, don’t see. But the clouds. Leave it
unquestioned. Are we at the end. Is there still basic want and
need. Shall I leave it. Leave it. Shall I turn, shall I be
entertained. What is it that is saying I am here to stay. What is it keeps
saying that,
is it an unfinished speaker, or just a speaking. An existing
thing? Provisional? Yes. Remain
provisional. Don’t
commit. Don’t
participate. Do the face to face but avoid encounter. Don’t transmit
words. Don’t engage in
communication. But what is this kind of meeting.
We are all breathing here together, are we not?
We are all leaking our in-
formation, our attentiveness. I do not want to look
away, I will not look
away, I want to promise, I will be
saturated, here is my open eye for you, I will en-
counter you, I will rub the personal surface, I will skim it. Oh it is
frictionless. I will be yr
user. Connect with me. How many things can we pay attention to at
once. How many. Track me. Track my
proclivities. Harvest me. My gaze is my gift. I give it, I give to you
freely. I
scrutinise.
What are you drawn to.
What are you drawn to.
I want to feel autonomous. I will pay u
attention. I will
feel free. I will
feel free.
Track me.