Before
Jorie Graham, 30 November 2023
“... it came, before the turn in the cherishedwind, what we called history, the turntowards, all of it more and moretowards – what is it that iscoming – must come – unfathomable, unbreakable – you want it so, yourfuture, no thefuture, sobadly – you standon the threshold of your century as on a highparapet, brush in hand, a ladder wrinkling the air as it rises,a kind of singing,rung by rung –all of you bowing to it saying thank you, thank you my lucky stars I am livingnow – right now –of all times this is the one now,the air ahead all tongues, they are actually red why don’t yousee it – & all will burn my friend –are you there –where are you now –is there a place to still beout therenow, in the actual future, which came aboutafter all – because none of thiswill survive, though from here see, so sun-dappled inwhat we called hours,long strings of human eagerness, & wonder curiosity hope expectation belief –(under the skin greed)(greed feeling its way into the hours)but the story above so shiny,the whole prepared-for-the-future soul nodding, saying you’re welcome, yes,you’re even more welcome[I’m letting you go now are you ready][I trust you to catch me]and the afternoon went on forever,and the path to the walled gardenwent on forever,the repast the Sunday the sunlight burning this leaf then that one,the wine on the table, burning, the bread,the thudding of the minutes inaudible,of what’s in the minutes,that greed,like a fleet of bombers actually,as the empty path filled up with men, rows and rowsstacked on the sides,bodies crying or no longer able to,a small path maintained for the stretcher-carriers,but all of this still invisible[except in the brushstroke]the one with no legs saying to no onewhat’s this all about,engines, sweat, memory of marching as one,huddled up till he’s a rag now calling for his mother,vital fluid seeping into the dirt,growling of plane circling low,what’s got you boy,nerves got you boy,till the path to this garden delivers its message,its millions of facescrying medic, crying mom, one of them whispering this was my homeonce, right in there –this hour –in our garden –where I look in my parents’ eyes and see nothing butthe surfaces of things,unbreakable,all round usthe sun perjuring itself promisingthe world cannot turn on you,gold firing on every leaf and pane,ricochet of sunstrikes on glass, twig, stone,the wall of vines all mouths whispering here you are here you are,fill your glass the promises shall be kept,& that quiet in the light, that quiet that cannot die,over our repast in the garden,over my one fear that I would spill the glassin the conflagrationof simplicities …Those who will never walk again on this earth ... ”