Another Day in the USA

Eliot Weinberger

Grass Valley is a small town in the California Sierra Nevadas, and every year the Grass Valley Charter School Foundation holds a fundraising fair, the Blue Marble Jubilee, that celebrates planet Earth with folk music and activities for children, such as making paper butterflies and egg carton caterpillars. This year’s Jubilee was scheduled for 11 May.

Unrelated to Grass Valley – or only seemingly unrelated – there’s yet another cute meme circulating on Twitter: #5JobsIveHad. And fired FBI director James Comey, in an oddly jocular moment, has tweeted in with his five:

Grocery store clerk

Vocal soloist for church weddings


Strike-replacement high school teacher

FBI director, interrupted

Comey is known, in certain corners of the internet, as a primary force in the deep state conspiracy that is attempting to wreak havoc and overthrow the Trump administration. Besides its visible machinations in Washington, it is said to have orchestrated a series of ‘false flag’ operations: the mass shootings and violent neo-Nazi rallies where provocateurs and assassins are paid by George Soros and innocent white nationalists are blamed.

The truth-seekers swiftly decoded Comey’s tweet as a message to his troops to instigate another bloodbath: #5JobsIveHad = JIHAD. There will be five acts of jihad, and the first of them is signalled by the first initials of Comey’s jobs: GVCSF, Grass Valley Charter School Foundation. As further evidence, Comey’s tweet was sent at 8.28 a.m., only three minutes after the time the first plane crashed into the Twin Towers on 9/11.

Comey, who lives in Virginia, somehow knew to choose this little family festival in the Sierra Nevadas as a target, but his plan has been thwarted. There will be no Blue Marble Jubilee this year. The organisers, who have been flooded with warnings and offers of protection, have been forced to cancel. As they meekly explained: ‘In the current social and political climate, schools and communities must take into consideration matters never before imagined.’


  • 9 May 2019 at 4:50pm
    prwhalley says:
    Strike-replacement high school teacher? So Comey can add Scab to his many other accomplishments?

    • 12 May 2019 at 11:19pm
      RobotBoy says: @ prwhalley
      Exactly. Won't stop the liberals showering him with teary adulation, however.