I’ve just heard this from a colleague. He’s been told by one of the managers that as part of the modernisation programme we're all going to get new electric trolleys. I wish you could hear the sounds of scornful laughter coming out of all the delivery offices up and down the country. Electric trolleys no less! It’s a hoot. How much are they planning to spend on that, I wonder? How many new mechanics are they going to take on for when they – inevitably – break down?

Me, I like my bike. It’s simple and it’s efficient, it’s robust and old-fashioned, it keeps me fit, and Tom – the bike mechanic – does a great job of keeping it in good condition. So who takes all the profit for all the new electric trolleys they’re going to foist on us, regardless of whether we want them or not? Not the Royal Mail, that’s for certain. Now can you see where all the profits are disappearing to?