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In a Large Box

Thomas Jones · War Spam

Not so long ago, a variation on the 'Nigerian billionaire' spam scam started circulating. A certain Sergeant Dewayne Pittman of the US military sent out a few thousand emails asking for help transferring large sums of money out of Iraq. It seems that Sergeant Pittman has not only changed his citizenship and moved to a new theatre of war, but has been very rapidly promoted – those smuggled Iraqi millions must really have come in handy. He wrote to the LRB this morning:

Hi,
I am an active British soldier currently in Afghanistan. I am with the 40th Regiment Royal Artillery in Afghanistan. We hijacked a suspected helicopter painted black[...]

We discovered other currencies including US dollars of about $ 16 million loaded inside the Blackhawk helicopter. We want to move this money out of this place.. This place is a war zone, so that you may keep our share pending the end of our assignment here in Afghanistan.

We will take 70%. You take 30%. No strings attached, just help us move it out of Afghanistan, Afghanistan is a war zone. We plan on using secured logistics courier to ship the money out in a large box.

If you can help to receive the box for us, I will send you the full details. Kindly send me an e-mail signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax numbers for quick communication also your contact details. This should be a secret and must be kept secret.

Respectfully,
Gen Sir Dewayne Pittman (right)

Right?


Comments


  • 13 October 2009 at 11:47am
    Mark C says:
    This appears to be inspired by William Gibson's novel "Spook Country", in which several groups of characters chase after a shipping container (or "large box") full of Iraqi cash.

  • 14 October 2009 at 11:09am
    Mark C says:
    I think the baddies wanted to steal it but the goodies beat them to it.

    I wouldn't be surprised if Gibson had read those pieces and I'm sure he would be amused by the spam email, whether or not it was inspired by his book.

  • 14 October 2009 at 7:08pm
    Martin says:
    Could someone please tell me what has happened to the calibre of the average British soldier? Where is the British Army recruiting from: 'we hijacked a suspected helicopter'! It must have been extraordinarily well disguised. Even my four-year-old son can tell a helicopter by sight or sound within a split second.

    • 14 October 2009 at 9:44pm
      And (honourable) to boot, no doubt.