Poem: ‘A Martian goes to College’
David Lodge, 6 December 1984
(with apologies to Craig Raine)
Caxtons are bred in batteries. If you take one from its perch, a girl
Must stun it with her fist before you bring it home.
Learning is when you watch a conjurer with fifty minutes’ patter and no tricks.
Students are dissidents: knowing their rooms are bugged, they
Take care never to talk Except against the blare of music.
Questioned in groups, they hold...