After the British Library Cyberattack

for Alice

Thus all the books on any given subject are found standing together, and no additions or changes ever separate them.

Melvil Dewey, A Classification and Subject Index for Cataloguing and Arranging the Books and Pamphlets of a Library

Irish

Formal People
Waitressing for Godot
Girl with Green Thighs
A Farewell to Armagh

Scottish

A Drunk Man Licks at the Thistle
Ted Gauntlet
Sunset Snog
Fife: A User’s Manual

Cookbooks

Moll Flan
Buns and Lovers
Oblomange
Tart of Darkness

Medical

The Illiad
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Deaf
Gays’ Anatomy
The Scarlet Pimple

Travel

Venice: The Menace
Middle Gidding
Leaves of Graz
The Descent of Manchester

Medieval

Gaudy Knight
The Brompton Folding Mystery Cycle
D.E. Cameron’s Decameron
The Works of Sir Thomas Malory-Towers

Kitchenware

Njal’s Aga
The Portrait of a Ladle
Woks in China
Goodbye to All Tat

Environment

The Rape of the Loch
Ben Jonson: Life on a Scottish Mountain
Three Men and a Goat
Nature Writer of the Year: Oscar Wilde

Dressmaking and Haberdashery

The Hand-Made Tails
Couture and Anarchy
The Hat of the Matter
The Waistband
Pin

Drugs

Stoner
Harry Pot
The Habit
The Pharma Sutra

Motoring

Sir Gawain and the Green Light
Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cars
Jane Austin
Mrs Gasket

Gender

A Child’s First ABLGBT
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Mam
Oor Wullie
Matthew and Arnold

Sport

Lucky Gym
The Seven Pillars of Wisden
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire
Arnold of Rugby

Erotica

Ivanhore
Playboy of the Western World
Can You Forgive Her? (Trollope)
Hard Times

Crime

Holmes and Gardens
Flaubert’s Poirot
Dorothy Slayers
Meg Rae

Crafts

A Loom of One’s Own
The Just Sew Stories
Venerable Beadwork
As I Lay Dyeing

Sequels

The Naked Afternoon Tea
The Greater Gatsby
The Forty-Nine Steps
Five Quintets

Parenting

A Shropshire Dad
Invisible Ma
Jane Austen’s Bath Book
Doctor and Nurse Faustus
Nappy Days

Railways

Dr Beeching and the Railway Children
Edinburgh Waverley Novels
The Station Master of Ballantrae
Thomas the Search Engine

Shakespeare

Iambo
Sir Liloquy
Thymbelina
Taliban

Libraries

The Bookcase of Sherlock Holmes
The Borrowers
Where Angels Fear to Read
The Little-Read Book