“... linings, one pomegranate-coloured, the other aqua. I told Julian that Boateng was the famous black British suit-maker of Savile Row. ‘That’s great,’ he said. ‘It fits the blacksploitation theme I’m hoping for with the film of my life. I want Morgan Freeman to play me.’ He began stripping off and I saw he had a pair of Tesco’s trackie ...”

“... reaches of the palace or wherever so that it could be satisfyingly torn apart. The James Tait Black prize notwithstanding Ian McEwan had ended up like this and even A.S. Byatt. Patron of the London Library though she was Her Majesty regularly found herself on the phone apologising to the renewals clerk for the loss of yet another volume. The dogs disliked ...”