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Quitting

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‘How To Quit Facebook’ is a page in the online self-help manual WikiHow, edited and updated by its users. If you have a Facebook problem – i.e. you don’t know when to stop Facebooking – WikiHow recommends you think of other things you could be doing with the time you spend on Facebook, such as ‘pick up a part time job and invest that money in stocks’, ‘teach a child how to throw a football’, ‘calculate the center of gravity’ (it doesn’t say of what) or even ‘read a book’. It also suggests you ‘call your friends on the phone or do something fun with them in person’.

Be warned, however: WikiHow can, apparently, be as addictive as Facebook. There’s a whole page on ‘How to control a WikiHow Addiction’. One of the numerous ways they suggest you get over your updating habit is by writing four new entries for WikiHow. ‘You can help by researching and writing one of these articles,’ the editors say: ‘How to Stop Feeling Lonely’, ‘How to Control out of Control Kids’, ‘How to Control a Friend’ or ‘How to Control Time’.

Then, having mastered time, curbed loneliness etc., you can presumably safely return to Facebook and begin all over again.

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