‘Check what famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyses your word choice and writing style and compares them to those of the famous writers.’ This is the – somewhat questionable, writing-wise – promise of I write like…, a handy website that invites casual browsers to paste in ‘your latest blog post, journal entry, Reddit comment, chapter of your unfinished book, etc’, and then uses its robot brain to break down the material. I went for blog posts, and can reveal that my first one on this site was written in the style of Nabokov; there followed an unsettling baroque phase – four posts – in which I wrote like H.P. Lovecraft, but since then I appear to have reined myself in, writing like Chuck Palahniuk and, most recently, Dan Brown. (The preceding sentences, however, are Nabokovian.) Further analysis from Metafilter’s qxntpqbbbqxl reveals that Nabokov writes like Dickens, Emily Dickinson like Lovecraft, Lovecraft like H.G. Wells, Dan Brown and himself; the King James Bible is like Shakespeare, who writes like James Fenimore Cooper. Kurt Vonnegut, Edgar Allan Poe and Isaac Asimov write like themselves.