One Minute You’re Fine 

Eleanor Birne

I don’t know whether I’m fat or thin. I suspect I might be ‘plump’. I do know that when I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I was skinny. I also know that I am not skinny now. One reason I know this is that when I went back to my old university last summer, I had to be reintroduced to the college chaplain by my (still) skinny boyfriend who was in the same year at college but who the chaplain had no problem remembering. ‘Oh,’ the chaplain said, when he was reminded of my name and college year. ‘I am sorry. I didn’t recognise you. It’s just that your face has got so . . . round.’ I might have forgiven his extraordinary tactlessness if he hadn’t said exactly the same thing to me the summer before.

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